energies/"Open Water! yeaaah yeaaaaah!"

sometimes you just want to sit and feel the different energies ebbing and flowing around you. sit and be silent. sit. and. just be.
but that's hard to do when other folks around you need to work off their nervous/anticipatory/negative/awkward/friendly energies through talking. to you. about stuff.

we had our hectic staff social DDI (down the islands) this morning. as usual, things went trini style. the maxis left late, the marina people held us up, the food was late, and the work permits were late. i bolted at 130 with the boat that was going out for lunch. its not our fault it was late! but everyone's combined nervous energy was making me a bit antsy.

BUT, at 1130, i ventured out into the sea with donna and ben... and we kickstarted it for everyone. i had a [pool] noodle to stave off the deep sea panic. i almost didn't go in because i put the noodle in as i saw ben do, then i realized it would start to drift as i worked up the courage to jump into 14 ft deep water. then i remembered i can always hold my breath, i know how to tread water, and i can definitely float out here. so, i took a breath, and took a small leap off the concrete platform. as i bobbed down then up, i remembered to open my eyes so i could see where the noodle was.

i slowly realized that i was NOT at all going to be able to even stub my toe on the "bottom" because it was 10 feet deep near the dock, and then it got deeper as we drifted with the current. i didn't have to be told to "stop looking down!" it was neat though to see the schools of tiny fish, yellow-green moss and other random things floating below. but then it got disconcerting to look down and see only dark green... cus that meant i was out in Open Water (yeaaaaah yeaaaaah).

it didn't help that ben would occasionally disappear from the surface...because that meant he was underwater looking for someone's ankles to grab. lol

i even relaxed enough to hand the noodle to connie and donna (so nice of them!) and try treading and floating by myself - sans equipment. the float i could do nooooo problem. but i couldn't do it for long knowing that i would drift, then have to turn over and make my way back. treading wasn't so hot either because i couldn't relax enough. so, after spraying water like a fountain all over the two of them, i snatched the noodle back (with relief), and started backpedalling to the dock.

but i was soooooooooooo happy to be able to be in the water and not freak out. MUCH better than roasting on the dock. plus, i bet if i could have stayed the whole day, i might have relaxed enough to be in the water without a noodle. hmm!

____________________
yesterday i had dinner with tasha and josh. for something "just thrown together" she throws down pretty damn good! the red wine and salad were just toppers to a great meal. plus i think the wine helped my nasty cold thing. even a cup of icecream after dinner from the corner cart didn't make things worse today.
i'm crediting the wine.

but yeah.

"my bags are packed and i'm ready to go..."

enjoying the quiet of my place. or attempting too. but someone is moving into one of the apartments with a freakin truck. like a ford something. that is really loud. its overpowering my slowjams.

*ooooooooh jill scott.*

the radio stations here are wicked. was dancing to soca and dance earlier while packing (and weighing and unpacking). then felt for something new and came across a station playing an old stevie wonder track. ironically, the same one we put on repeat and high volume while eating icecream on the corner last night.
this station has stuck. it's pretty good. good thing its one of my presets!

i'm trying to psych myself up for spending 7 weeks with family in a slightly stressful situation. this is the first time in a long while where i will pass a summer without being in school of some sort... or heading into school in september (as a student).

i enjoy having my own space. my car right outside my door.
buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut each place, trinidad/toronto, has its benefits.
starting with TIM HORTONS!!! [kelvin goes without saying. *WINK WINK*]

that's what i'll have tomorrow evening. mmm mmm

i'll deal with all that family stuff later.