randoms

i am SO overdue for some therapeutic blogging.
there's one that i've written in my head multiple times. its visualizing a chat with my insane aunt who's "never wrong". the one that screamed at me the morning of my grandad's funeral and then again 2 weeks later while she was giving me a backhand apology.
i need to air that out. and then the bridge will be burned or maybe she'll realize that she might actually owe us a sincere apology.

prolly not.

and in other news, i think i had a mini wave of depression combined with tiredness.

got a little crazy with the kelvster yesterday. and slept for 3hrs and missed dance class wednesday evening.

the Blahs are really going around the school.

i'm resisting the urge to shop madly too cus i gotta save loot.

and the same blasted question "are you leaving? are you staying?" every other day. unless someone gives the bf a job, i'm done here. i'm done with the far thing. and yeah

bitter!

bought my tobago tix today. set for the year!

and i miss my grandparents, and my grandad especially.

and i worry about my mom. and my brother.

i should have blogged on tuesday. TUESDAY WAS A GOOD DAY. really made me feel like my thesis was useful. the question of race and racial discrimination is the elephant in the nation here. there is no space for the black students association in a country where the black people form the numerical majority, but the economic minority. because they take out their anger on the non-black students in their daily interactions. and everyone is so hurt and angry.

and my history class of 10 (plus 1 on monday) - strong wants to wage a rebellion. so much for keeping them on the straight and narrow of the status quo. i'm not even sure what my role is there. this is what i get for being all marxist and althusserian with a bunch of 15 year olds.