i always

disappoint someone!

tonight it was my mom. apparently they dont sell soup after 11pm at tims. i went to get some chicken noodle soup after watching a movie with michelle. vantage point. its pretty good. decent action fare. some useless parts in the plot though.
well despite the fact that i called 4 times, even pulling into a park to make a call and wait, she never answered the phone BEFORE the movie, so i didn't know if she still wanted it - 4 hours after she had made her request.
apparently, i was to use my telepathy. i mistakenly thought calling 3 different phones in the same house might attract enough attention to address my question.
and despite the fact that i SAAAAAAID i wouldnt make the tims delivery until LATER because i was 2 mins from my friends house in the beaches, i was expected to do it pizza delivery style i guess - 30 mins or its free.
i think that might be a step down from my previous job of Random Tech Support. eh well.


the night before it was the stupid bus driver. i was enjoying the freedom of being a woman travelling 'late' at night on public transit. it was a brisk clear winter night. nice crisp air.
however, i had forgotten the finer details of public transit travel.
i had folded my transfer into my glove so it wouldnt' get blown away by the breeze. it was still a bit wonky when i pulled it out to show the driver. apparently i was supposed to iron it flat and stand at attention while he tried to read every detail.
i was NOT supposed to hold it pressed to my palm by my gloved fingers while slowing heading towards the back. that's what's normally done.
but OH no! i did it wrong.
i was wondering why The Man, representative of Babylon, had to inspect my transfer so closely. i said 'i got off the same bus THEY did' [the 3 women behind me].
he got all defensive and whiney like a small child and said "i was just trying to READ it" {Oh Em Gee, Black Girl! Oh Em Gee! feelings hurt- like ow}.
i offered a halfhearted apology in hopes of mollifying his bruised ego.
then, instead of enjoying the hum of the bus and scarborough lurching by in the darkness, i dwelled on his whiney tone. doubting myself. wondering if i had been too 'harsh' with The Man.
i concluded no i had not.


the night before THAT, i disappointed my gran c/o the caregiver. everyone assumed i was a) coming to the hospital, and more importantly b) bringing The Bag. i, on the other hand knew that even if i managed to achieve a, i was most certainly not attempting to do b.
why?
am i an ungrateful wretch who is so selfish she cannot recall the sacrifices her grandmother made for her for as long as she can remember?
no.
i am a visitor in a house that is undergoing complete and total upheaval. as if a tornado had passed through everyone of the 8 closets and regurgitated the contents of each into the hallways and the living room.
and within this space of migrant homeless objects, i was to find The Bag on The Floor in The Room.
gimme a break. lost cause.
guilt overcame me so much that the morning of my interview, we fought with the various bags to get to THE Bag and go through its contents (also in bags) so that i could take it to my grandmother at night. and take the bus back. in winter. oh joy.
and i would NEVER EVER have found The Bag without the assistance of the person who had packed it. my grandmother has lived here for 30 years. there are MANY bags with her things in them.some are blue, some are black, and several of them were on The Floor in The Room. my two attempts to select the RIGHT bag from the multiple meubles were both horribly incorrect.
and then after my valiant efforts to deliver The Bag and its contents to my grandmother, i was told that they weren't needed because the caregiver had already brought socks. i guess she didn't trust that i'd EVER deliver The Bag. maybe they'll use the Other non-sock items at some point in the near future.

*le sigh*

so disappointing!