dont expect much from a jamaican restaurant
Current mood: amused
Category: Food and Restaurants
Friday evening, after a tough 2 hrs wandering the rocks at the Scarborough Bluffs, my cousin Crazy Jan (CJ), my boyfriend and I headed for food at Sunrise. Sunrise bills itself as a "Caribbean" restaurant, but it's really Jamaican.
The boyfriend and I order stew chicken dinners and some festivals (aka fry bake/dumplin). CJ is in the washroom when we order. When the bf gets his food, he heads to a table to chow down, and I wait with CJ in line.
She happens to be standing behind a woman who is obviously ordering food for a small army with particular tastes because the cashier is taking 50 years to take the order and get it right. While this is going on, CJ is scouring the menu for something vegetarian. A good clue to veg head fare is the word "vegetable(s)". The only names in which we see the magic word are "vegetable dinner" and "vegetable roti". CJ debates the potential of each item. She's not impressed with the idea of having veggies and rice. She says she needs protein (channa aka chick peas) and she wants something more filling than steamed veggies. She's thinking about having the vegetable roti.
Now, I am a Trinidadian who was raised in Toronto, a Canadian Trini/Trini Canadian, whatever. I know that you should only buy roti from places that have been referred to you by family (or close friends) that you trust - trust with your gastrointestinal tract. I know that, failing that info, you should buy roti from a place that advertises itself as "Trini" or "Guyanese" or even "IndoCaribbean." You should not, under any circumstances, waste good legal tender in the purchase of a roti from a Jamaican establishment. Even though Sunrise bills itself as "Caribbean," I know the history of the owners and I know they are Jamaican. Simple clues like "rice and peas" instead of "pelau" (or some other name for cookup rice) on the menu will tell you that it is a Jamaican esteablishment.
I told her, 'um... dude... I dont think you should have the vegetable roti'.
CJ: No, I think I'll have that
me: oooooooookkkkkkaaaaaaaaay....
I wasn't about to argue with someone who, 30 mins before, had said she was going to faint if she didn't have a meal. When you're hungry, any food decision is right.
We finally get seated. I start to work on my (tough) stewed chicken. I had forgotten that their stewed chicken is just baked chicken soaked in gravy. CJ gets settled, quickly opens her box and takes a large bite of her vegetable roti.
She tilts it towards me incredulous.
CJ: what is this?
me: what is what?
CJ: what is this? this is vegetables wrapped in a roti skin! who eats this? i'm going to tell them something!
me: i told you not to get it. this is a jamaican restaurant. they dont know anything about making roti.
CJ: well i expected there to be curry and channa in here. this is a dry roti skin with steamed vegetables. i'm going to take this back!
me: you go for it!
She wanders back towards the counter holding the box open and far away from her body like its filled with a steaming pile of dog shat. The line has gotten much longer and now includes 2 men from staples. One of them was obviously just released from prison judging by the way he was staring into my cousin's hippie-clad C size cleavage. He would have needed a guide rope to climb back out.
Waving the open box, she decided to bypass the line and try to get the attention of one of the guys behind the food prep counter. While waiting there she shared the story with 2 women. They wanted to know what was wrong with her food and why she was waving the box around. I overheard one telling her "you can't expect much from a jamaican restaurant". CJ replied "well that's what my cousin told me. but i'm not from here! i didn't know that."
Finally the lead guy in the hairnet realized she was waiting and waving the full box of food. Here is what I overheard (plus some of what I was told later).
CJ: what is this? people eat this?
Food Guy: yes
CJ: people pay money for this?
FG: yes
CJ: people from the west indies buy this?
FG: uh huh
CJ: i dont think so!
then
CJ: what are you going to do for me? i can't eat this! this is plain vegetables in a roti skin! dont you have something that has curry but without chicken?
FG: [no]
CJ: you dont have curry without meat?
FG: [no]
CJ: so you're saying all the curry you have has meat in it?
FG: [yes]
CJ: so the only vegetarian items you have are steamed vegetables and rice or this?
FG:[yes]
CJ: well i can't eat this, so what are you going to do for me?
Everyone in the place was listening. The Staples men were enjoying the show. The food guy, bless his heart, gave her a kingfish dinner as a replacement.
She polished that off with gusto. She went back to thank them afterwards saying, "Thanks for that fish. It was really good. But you really have to do something about that vegetable roti. Like take it off your menu. Because who eats that?"
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